The new family on Father's Day
In the spirit of Father's Day, and for me, my first Father's Day with our 5 1/2 week old son, Tyler, I have been pondering what it means "to father". The action verb of fathering..... One of my favorite authors, John Eldredge, has been going deeper in his recent books, exploring how our God fathers us intimately and passionately. Each of us has a Heavenly Father who whether we "hear" him is actively wooing us, pursuing our hearts and fighting for us with great passion and desire. All this has sparked my mind & heart to what it means for us as humans 'to father'. I will reserve another post for thoughts on unpacking the many ways and methods our creator and Heavenly Father 'fathers' each of us.
Well, to begin, there seems to be a lot more than just what's on the surface of "fathering". You hear it almost everyday it seems....That's Tom's father, she's with her mom, that's his son/daughter out there playing first base, my father/mother taught me how to play the piano, etc.
I recall sitting wearied eyed at Medical City Hospital 2 days removed from Tyler's birth and still entrenched in Kelli's recovery hearing a sweet lactation consultant explain to us medical studies she had read about among other things, the father's voice. That is, a new born baby put in a room on one end with 6 different adult males on the other end, 1 of which is his own father, the others, stand ins, 95%+ of the time could correctly identify his father's VOICE!! WOW.....
OK, I am running on 3 hours sleep, if you want to call it that, Kelli is drugged up and some stranger in a dark, sterile hospital room just said what? Well, clearly her comments stuck with me and I filed them away to unpack once I had more brainpower...
So if medical studies prove clinically, that newborn babies, fresh and unfiltered to the world we live in, can automatically pick up on, perceive and recognize their father's voice, what does this tell us?
My first observation, is that each of us when we are a newborn baby come prepackaged with this "internal GPS", if you will, that can focus even the most helpless baby on his father's voice for comfort and love. It would seem that this internal GPS is as important to us when we enter this world as having the right size/speed processor on a new laptop computer. And of course, the fact that the unborn fetus can recognize his mother's voice & laugh before he or she even enters this world reinforces this.
Now, if the newborn has this capability, what happens to it over time? Other research I have seen compares an infant's mind to a wide flood light with a broad cast and an adults minds to that of a narrow spotlight. That is, as we grow and mature, we focus our minds, hearts, thoughts on specific bodies of knowledge and interests: he's a doctor, he plays football, she is a math teacher; any anything outside of our 'comfort zone', we rarely expose ourselves to or embark upon.
My conclusion in all this is that each one of us, man and woman, come hardwired with many things. Obviously, gender dictates some differences as what you come with; but we all have this internal GPS to hear... And my next question is, hear what??
Ah, yes.........the Father's Voice. That gives me peace knowing that even when times are tough, things look bleak personally, financially, relationships are strained; I still have the ability to hear what I need to know from my Heavenly Father. I just have to plug in my GPS and LISTEN; and listening is the hardest part in today's dog eat dog, busyness, be involved & active in everything possible for you, your kids, your family, your church, you name it world. This is where I have to be intentional.
OK. Lot of spiritual fathering and nurturing for the taking here. I am going to walk more in this & dig deeper. But for now, as I reflect on my first father's day, spent with my own dad and my wife's dad hanging out with Mr. Tyler, I see some clarity--- Each newborn little boy, young man, adult, older adult and so on HAS the God given FATHERING GIFT inside of him. And it comes no less from God the Father. Just as Tyler seems to favor me thus far in his young life, with his hair color and his little nose, so too, does God pass on many of his characteristics & traits to us. And what a big one this is--- Fathering.
Wow! I had no idea what becoming a parent would be like, what would and will be asked of me, where I will succeed & fail; but this I am sure of-- As surely as little Tyler can recognize my and his mother's voice; so too can I recognize the voice of the one who gave me at birth the ability to father one day. And because of that, I rest with peace & clarity on my inaugural Father's Day knowing that I along with all the other fathers and fathers to be have what it takes 'to father', we just have to tap into our own internal GPS that each of us was born with.
--cw
chad went surfing for the first time
I can't believe we did this...but chad and i went on our first vacation since little tyler was born. he's 14 weeks old!!! chad had a work conference in san diego and we decided that i would fly out and join him once the conference was over. i knew it was going to be so hard to leave that precious little boy but we knew he was in good hands with the grandparents. we just love california and especially san diego. we had a wonderful time...sitting on the beach, eating, drinking and of course, talking non-stop about tyler!!! it was a perfect little time away...however...next time we want that sweet baby with us...there are 3 of us in our family now to experience vacations together!!!!
